Closing the book

It was about 8 years ago when I watched a nice little program called Star Hime, desperate to just get my hands on any 48 material, and it was then that they started following the 3rd sister group: NMB48.

I remember a specific clip, when one of the talent directors was talking about a girl named Yamamoto Sayaka having a splendid performance of the song Bird.

“Wow, this girl is really something,” I thought.

The performance that started it all.

As time passed, I grew to really like her. She seemed to be able to do it all; whenever she appeared on things like Docking48, she seemed to pass every challenge with ease. She was smart, but she was also funny with her crazy things like castle impersonations. On stage, she was immensely talented, being an incredible dancer and one of the few who could actually sing.

What an amazing talent. At the time, I didn’t really understand the term oshimen, but at that point, I could say she was mine. The mini speech I wrote on Google+ earned me a paid trip to Sousenkyo, where I was kind of? excited that she made it to whatever low rank she had at the time; Gingham Check was the resulting single and though she didn’t crack senbatsu, it was great that she was the only member of NMB to make it in.

I had hair back then too.

My time with NMB would continue to pass and soon I just fell in love with the group. I did not imagine myself becoming an NMB48 only wota, but that’s what happened. And at the forefront was Sayaka, pushing the group.

As Sayaka’s popularity exploded, I felt the distance. Not only was their a giant body of water known as the Pacific Ocean, but the line for Sayaka was becoming longer and longer and I wasn’t even there, not able to establish the closeness. It didn’t felt like she needed my support as a fan so much as I felt that I (and other fans) needed her support.

At some point I established my real oshimen to be Nishimura Aika, and off I went.

However, Sayaka’s contributions to the group were always massive, bringing the group mainstream recognition by virtue of her immense talent. I still appreciated every thing she did for the group. Not every NMB fan is a Sayaka-oshi, but every NMB fan loves Sayaka.

Near the end, I was a little upset, because the rest of the group lagged far behind Sayaka, and I felt like it was her responsibility to start bringing up all the other girls. That criticism would soon fade away when she announced her graduation, sending shock waves down my spine. You knew it had to happen sometime, and the inevitability that she would leave the group now became a sudden reality.

Full stop.

—

The concert was amazing. From the beginning to the end, there was not something I was disappointed with. For a venue that expected to serve upwards of 40,000 people I still managed to get good sightlines and views of every moment. The setlist was superb, with each song managing to evoke strong memories of Sayaka while also being organized well and performed like I had never imagined. We had fantastic production in the form of fireworks and colored flamethrowers. The live band was incredible and the band version of “HA!” had me filled with an energy that I had thought long left these tired bones.

Bringing back old members was a real treat, as it all slowly built up to a climax with Watanabe Miyuki dropping everyone’s collective mouth. You figured that she would show up after her song started playing and they brought back members like Orera, Momoka, and Yamada Nana, but it all worked out like a good twist; you knew it was coming, all the rights hints were there, and you just need the proof.

Amazing feeling to see members who have grown, some having kids, some still in the industry, and all to witness Sayaka give her best for this last concert.

This last concert felt like a present, a true anniversary of everything NMB had to offer until now, under the legendary captaincy of Yamamoto Sayaka. There cannot and will not be a better NMB concert than this. And personally, this will forever be the greatest idol concert I will have ever attended; to be with the group from the beginning and to watch it to the end of its most illustrious member.

I cannot understate how incredible this concert was for me as such a long time fan, to see the NMB I fell in love with and evolve before my very eyes, to be reminded why I fell in love with Sayaka as an entertainer, it all majestically flashed before my eyes as I experienced one song after another, as well as glimpses of her bright future with her band.

—

I might not be able to predict how the rest of my idol fan life will turn out, but right now, I know how one part of it ended–with an amazing crescendo.

Becoming a Jo Oshi

Predicted by my friend Henry 2 and a half years ago.

The graduation of Aika coupled with adjusting to my life in Tsushima led me away from NMB for a while, but as I’m slowly getting back into it, I find myself really liking Jo Eriko.

Two years ago, before 4th Anniversary, I attended a handshake event. I loaded up on a bunch of tickets for girls I thought I liked, as well as a bunch of day tickets. It was my first handshake event, I was super confused and didn’t know what to say, and my Japanese wasn’t that great. (Well, it’s not great now, but that’s another story.)  It was definitely a dizzying speed of saying hi, figuring out what to say, and balancing it with how much time I had to say it.

I mean, that’s what happens as a foreigner fan. The events become “pilgrimages” as you pour all your effort into this one meeting.

It’s overwhelming!

I declared myself an Aika-oshi based on watching her at stages, thinking she was adorable but being really talented at performing. But when I met her, it was pretty awkward. I just remember being lost for words and her just staring at me. (Which still happens often with me at other girls, lol.) When she graduated, I had only attended one handshake. It was pretty one-sided, knowing that I didn’t really meet her and that I was a really distant fan, but still a fan.

And things like this still make me smile.

Jo, on the other hand, is a different story. Of course, Pepperidge Farm remembers I remember Jo from Naniwa Nadeshiko, and I kind of liked the comeback story when she announced it at 3rd Anniversary, but what changed it all was that one handshake. I used a day-ticket on her and I remember telling her that I had the same name as her as a joke, and she gave me a high-five. It was so hilarious to me that I ended up using another ticket on her and liking her a lot.

Sunshine and rainbows

With the election, I got it, well, half-sponsored and was able to attend the handshake in Tokyo, and Jo (and Anchu) made it feel like it was worth it. All the other girls felt pretty standard, some I liked more than others, but overall I enjoyed the interactions I had with Jo. No flirtatiousness, mostly silliness. And just to confirm that, I went again last week to a handshake event. That day I had a lot of awkwardness, but Jo was still silly and fun.

In stark contrast to Aika, the fan relationship with Jo feels a lot more reciprocal. It has a very new and personal feeling to it, one that I’ve never really expected out of being an NMB fan since I was overseas for so long and… might still technically be overseas. It almost feels liberating.

Keeping this in consideration made me think a lot about the 5th gen handshakes I had. When I watched the documentary, I could pick out my favorites, but going to the handshake was completely different and reframed a lot of the girls.

Yamamoto zayaka

The girls that stood out to me the most, Aa-yan and Cocona, ended up giving me the worst handshakes, with the idol aura being too strong on Aa-yan and Cocona making me feel like I’m too old for this. On the other hand, Mirai’s bubbly attitude, Rei’s fishing, Karin’s genuine joy at being at the event, and Rika and Momorun trying to speak English stood out a lot in my mind. Being able to judge them for more than just an appearance but also how I’m being treated as a fan is just a whole new perspective.

I’m very curious on how this new approach to NMB is going to work out, and I’m definitely looking forward to it.

precious kid

The Aika Graduation post

And so it’s happened: My oshimen, Nishimura Aika, has graduated from NMB48 to pursue English studies and her dream of being a worldwide actress.

It’s been one strange journey, especially these last few weeks.

—

Due to a lot of weird circumstances combining together, I was able to attend all 3 concerts for the NMB Live House Tour 2016 Final in Osaka.

As it turned out, that week happened to be Spring Break, and plans were made for Spring Break to be spent in Kansai. Andi had asked me to apply for 2 of the concerts in his name, and then I sat there wondering if I should apply for the third.

“Sure, why not. And let me ask my friend RJ too.”

He agreed, I applied, and I won two of the three concerts. Andi also won another one, and then I thought, hey, why I don’t attend the concerts with him?

The first day was the Aika graduation concert, and that wasn’t even announced until after I had already won the tickets.

These two had a lot of real good chemistry at the concert; it’s a shame it was never utilized

Now, nearly all the songs chosen for the graduation concert were linked to her history, and she’s gone over the song selection on Twitter. I didn’t expect that kind of fan service for Aika fans. More surprisingly, I knew a lot of the songs and the significance when I heard them, even though I wasn’t around for some of them. For example, I didn’t follow Aika during her kenkyuusei days or even when she was promoted to Team N; I began to take notice of her shortly after the Team N original stage, so I felt a little bit nerdy knowing the significance of some of these songs that I wasn’t around for. Things like her centering Junjou U-19, which had significance because she centered it in NMB RH 2014 when she was promoted.

YuuriAi was one of the pairs that a lot of people liked…

It was a really good concert and I’m sad that we won’t get footage of it. In particular, the acoustic version of Aika/Sayaka doing 365-nichi kamihikouki was something really special.

Do you think anyone else would be capable of such a powerful duet?

Even after the concert, it hadn’t hit me. When they announced senbatsu for the new NMB single, I felt a little slighted that Aika wasn’t in it, before realizing she’s graduating. Same with the Niji no Tsukurikata unit. “Aika should be there instead of Kokochan! Well… wait…”

After the concert, I thought to myself, hey, wouldn’t it be funny if I applied for the theater show? Actually, I had no idea it was already announced, and Ryan had to remind me when it was. I barely made the Enpou deadline, but I didn’t get in. Unfortunately, with the other seats, notification is really tight coming from Tsushima. For that show in particular, I would know by Thursday if I had gotten in, the show would be on Wednesday, and transportation would be a tight squeeze so I’d have to take two days of vacation. I asked for it in advance and said I might not even take it, and luckily my workplace obliged.

On Thursday I got the notification that I won as a fanclub member and I would be attending. I’ve never been to the theater so I was elated that I got this email. I’ve never even known what it looked like. Of course, these were not the best circumstances to have a first visit, but no matter.

I seriously couldn’t believe it…

I confirmed with my work that I would take these two days off for vacation, then hurriedly bought overnight bus tickets.

Lately, I’ve been having a bit of an identity reconsideration. That’s a topic I’ll save for my personal blog, but in short I’ve really been evaluating who I am and what I want to accomplish and what’s important to me. On Saturday night, I had trouble sleeping and so I changed my plans to leave on the first ferry to leaving on the last ferry. What I failed to confirm was that my bus tickets were not the usual 10pm night bus but actually the 8:30pm bus, so imagine my surprise when I showed up to the bus reception area and was informed that I missed my bus. I had to fork over an extra 5500 yen for another ticket, and I was really upset that I made such a silly mistake and had to deal with the extra stress.

I arrived in Osaka at 6:30 or 7:00, and I was really puzzled at what to do. It’s weird not having a “home-base”, and eventually I decided to check into a Manga cafe and sleep some more before taking a shower there. It’s also weird that I’ve been to Osaka so many times and was no longer really interested in touristy stuff; I just wanted to go to the theater show and go home. (If I had a little more money, I’d gladly do my typical gourmet activities, but the spur-of-the-moment plans and the missed bus, I didn’t even want to bother.)

One of my ALT friends in Nara kept me company after lunch, and then it was off to the theater. It was here that I had some regret that I didn’t know the Aika fan community since there were so many of them, but it was too late for that and there’s really not much room for that being in Tsushima anyway. I got my ticket, put my stuff in the locker, and lined up outside.

It felt absolutely surreal being able to take these photos

My seat was actually around the 5th row from the back. Not too good, and I kinda laughed to myself knowing that I had closer positions in the concerts I attended, but still, it should be nice and comfortable in the seats compared to being crammed in standing-room only venues. I also panicked a little since on my right there was a pretty cute girl who was also an Aika fan, but again, I felt weird not knowing the Aika fan community, not really attending handshake events, and being a foreigner.

Of course, Aika did the kage-ana, and you could tell she was trying her best to leave with a smile and not cry like she always does. And the show started, replacing the end of each line of the Mix with Aika or Nishimura Aika.

Thanks to these handy instructions!

As the show progressed, I realized how awesome it is to be in the theater. It’s a really intimate experience, the members are so close, and it’s a small stage. It was also a rarity for Sayaka to be in the theater as well. And despite seeing so much of this stage on DMM, I was just so pleased to have been there live. In fact, I’ve never really sat through a DMM show from start to end, and I’d always skip around and it still felt like a long time; here, the entire stage felt like it was over in a flash.

And the members, well, they’re all really pretty in person and again I had to come to that realization being so close to them. My other favorites are Uuka and Jo, and Uuka is just an absolute stunner in real life. I also love Jo’s smile–seeing that smile instantly perks me up. Rika was also looking pretty and she does nice things with her hair all the time. And well, Sayaka is Sayaka.

Speaking of Sayaka, she’s amazing. She looks spectacular, carries herself with just the right charisma, knows exactly how to put others in the spotlight when needed, she seems to know what to say and when to say it and yet it doesn’t feel forced, and despite being larger-than-life she doesn’t feel distant at all but rather it feels like she could be your best friend. Whenever people complain about Sayaka or about other being people the next Sayaka… I don’t think they really understand the kind of person she is.

The units came and went. Yume no Dead Body was great, Nandomo Nerae was kinda meh, ONEW was fun and cute. There’s something about Yuuri where I think she looks really weird in print/video but she looks great in real life.

And then there was Kono Sekai ga Yuki no Naka ni Umoreru Mae ni…
How bittersweet that the first time I get to hear this in the theater with the original members is the last time it’ll be performed with the original members. It really took me back, that this performance helped me turn the decision to oshimen to Aika. At the time, I didn’t know who she was, and I was amazed by her singing performance even though she was nervous.

God, I just…

There was Zipper to somewhat take my mind off of it, and of course once again I was blessed with Uuka Zipper, but it couldn’t beat the specter of the Aika graduation.

It persisted throughout, through the encore calls, I just couldn’t get over the fact that she was leaving. I was surprised to see Yuumin and Rurina burst into tears during MCs since I didn’t think they were too close with Aika. Naru seemed to be in such a sad mood for the entire show.

The graduation video made me a little bit emotional. Like I said, I wasn’t there for the promotion. I wasn’t there for the stage debut when she was kenkyuusei. But I saw the original N stage, or the 3rd Anniversary performance where I saw her on DVD and was blown away. The first time she entered units and seeing her in Yama e Yukou, I was there for that. And it was just a trip down my own memories, cheering for this girl, seeing her progress, seeing her break into senbatsu with Rashikunai and Don’t Look Back!, making the dance senbatsu of Must be Now, it was all so good to me.

Her final song was with her KKS class, which I somehow knew was going to be her choice, and I told Ryan as much after the Osaka concerts.

The ceremony was really nice. She got a bouquet of tulips plus rainbow roses in the center, which Sayaka said represented infinite potential. I was kind of moved when the 4th gen gave her their own kind of gift too. Because Aika was promoted really fast and certainly wasn’t there for that big kenkyuusei push, it really touches me knowing how close she is or wanted to be with the 4th gen.

And as I watched everything going on, I couldn’t help feel some sort of regret. I wish I was a bigger part of the fan community, since I contributed nothing really to help out with the graduation concert, and it seemed like everyone in the Aika fan community was great. I only went to one handshake with Aika and I totally bombed it and that was like 2 years ago. I just kept wishing that I was a better fan, that I was better friends with the community, that I supported her truly instead of the half-ass way I felt like I did.

As the members lined up to wave us bye, I remember a couple things. I remember this one girl breaking down in tears. I remember seeing some of the more well known Aika fans and getting good reactions from her. For me, I remember waving to Nattsu since she was first in line and she waved back and I kinda got a little weirded out because I wasn’t really there for her. Kei-chan for some reason waved and then looked really sad. And Aika, well, I don’t even think she acknowledged or remembered me, which led to more regret over being a crappy fan of the oshimen. And then I remember Naru looking really broken before walking out of the theater.

I feel a lot of regret, wishing I was a better fan. I also really wanted to see Aika carry the torch for the next generation of NMB. And while I hope she does well in the future (even doing some silly pinky swear promise that she will return to the entertainment world after she finishes university), I know that if she comes back, it’s not going to be the same for me. Great actresses just don’t drive you to the same fan-levels as a group like NMB does.

And… there you have it. A lot of emotions, regret as a fan, and general sadness seeing how far she’s come along. I was relieved, though, that I got to see her live in the theater for her last performance, as well as just an all around great performance from my favorite NMB Team.

While I wonder who I’m going to choose as my next oshimen, it still feels like I’m not doing my best as a fan. And with this kind of heavy heart, I’ll hopefully be as good a fan of NMB as I can.

Because, let’s face it: It’s more fun to be a great fan and sharing in their hopes and dreams than it is to be a casual fan unaffected by the more emotional events.

I may not be a blip on Aika’s radar, but she’s certainly made a big impact on me.

Thanks for everything!

NMB48 Team BⅡ Concert Tour in Zepp Fukuoka: 3/15, 3/16: Concert Report

When the concerts in Fukuoka were announced, I was lukewarm on wanting to attend. It took place during the middle of the week, right in the middle of graduation season where it would be the last time seeing some of the students that I teach. Furthermore, I’d have to use vacation to go. And lastly, it’s a huge hassle to actually get off the island. In fact, I began writing this on the midnight ferry, all in order to catch my elementary school graduation ceremony.

my sick ride home

I put out on a call on Twitter to see if anyone would want to go with me, and luckily one of my good friends said that she could go. I applied for and purchased tickets to both the March 15 and March 16 date back in December. As the date came closer and closer, I began to regret that purchase, but I couldn’t back out as my friend was a huge fan and due to the ID checking policy, I needed to be there for her to enter.

Unfortunately, about a month before the concert, my friend said that she had an important lecture for that trip that she couldn’t afford to miss, and thus she had to back out of the concert. I was caught in a dilemma. Should I just abandon the whole trip? One of the reasons I came to love the concerts was being able to celebrate with friends. I’ve attended idol concerts alone before, and I came out feeling more negative about myself and being a fan, it’s just not the same.

As I was running out of options, I asked a fellow English teacher here on the island if he wanted to go just for fun since he knew nothing of idol culture, and surprisingly he agreed. The trip was booked, tickets were bought, lodging was found, and we were set to go.

Day 1:

On the day of the first concert, I attended the graduation ceremony at one of my middle schools, and after that I flew out from the island to Fukuoka. However, the graduation ceremony hit me in the heart for personal reasons that I’ll choose not to divulge here, but suffice to say I was a bit of downer.

I arrived at the concert venue quite late, about 45 minutes after the doors opened. The way the seating system worked was that you were given a number on your ticket, and you were let in the venue in order according to that number, but once you were in it was a free-for-all. When I got there, I didn’t even know that system existed, and I had a number in the 500s for a venue that fit at least 2000. I took my time and bought my concert goods before entering the venue, where we stood in the very back corner.

Ichikawa Miori, also known as Miorin or “Fresh Lemon”, was already kicking off the pre-concert entertainment with a segment called DJ Lemon’s All Night Lemon, a play on the radio show “All Night Nippon” in which she would sing and dance and answer questions that were put in her question box. With a freshly-purchased NMB48 glowstick in hand, I got myself ready to enjoy the concert.

DJ Lemon dropping the sick beats

When it started, however, I was still in a terrible mood. I was still heavy-hearted from the graduation ceremony, tired from poor sleep on the night before and the exhausting commute to even get to the concert venue from the island, my friend knew nothing about that group and had no way of hyping me up, and I didn’t know anyone else at the event. Furthermore, despite this being the closest I’ve gotten to the group in a concert setting because it was a small venue, being in the back was kind of awkward. The chants were quieter and I didn’t feel like I was that close to the group. I started off sour.

As the concert went along, the set list picked up and I started to remember some of the good times I had following the group. In particular, I enjoyed the “flat-chested” Zipper routine from Kusaka Konomi (Konomin), Ijiri Anna (Antan), and centered by Umeda Ayaka (Umechan), especially the part after they took off a layer of clothing and looked at each other sadly as they lamented their chest size.

You can sense the disappointment in themselves

Most of all, I was extremely impressed by the Team B2 medley. The medley was an amazing set which featured a few remixes of some of NMB’s B-sides performed non-stop as different groups of members would rotate in and then dance transition to another group. I loved the NMB medley at the 5th Anniversary Concert so being able to see another medley performed live on a small stage was an awesome experience.

I perked up a bit after the concert and resolved to come back the next day and pick up the energy.

Day 2:

Due to some complications regarding getting our ferry tickets for the trip home, we barely made it in time for the doors opening. Our place in line was #603, and I was excited to see that once we got in we were about 8 rows behind the front. I could already feel the tension building up and was excited to be able to see them up close.

See, there I am

Once again, DJ Lemon kicked off the pre-concert entertainment, and she was quite amusing that day. I recall her asking the crowd if anyone wanted to marry her, and a loud contingent of about 3 or 4 girls screamed that they would. Lemon replied that it was great but she wasn’t sure if girls could marry girls, then openly lamented the fact that guys were being honest and did not want to marry her.

Although the setlist was mostly the same except for the unit shuffles, being much closer was a complete game changer. As someone who used to watch nearly every NMB DMM (which then became nearly every Team N DMM, then only unique shuffle DMM, and now, well, no DMM) there was such a huge difference from watching them on the screen and seeing them up close and live. Certain members, who I’ll get into later, gave off extremely different impressions and mostly in a positive way.

Furthermore, I also loved being in the middle of the crowd. The energy was up there and it was great to be able to do calls and such. Even though I was so close to the performers, I doubt that they could hear me over the screams of everybody else, which is a great party-like feeling and an atmosphere that I love in any concert.

Woooooo party

For those unaware, Umechan, whose hometown is Fukuoka, had announced her graduation this year and thus this performance would be her last performance as a member of AKB/NMB and a few special things were planned out that day. In the Day 1 concert, the song Dakishimechatara was performed and during the MC they had said that the song was not included on the original setlist but decided to do so in Fukuoka for Umechan. The song had importance as during one particular election, she just barely missed making it into the single senbatsu but due to that was able to center this song. For Day 2, the Umechan chants peaked during the song and persisted far past where it was supposed to end, and once the lights came on after the song it was apparent that it brought the other members to tears during the MC followup, a truly moving moment. I could hear sobs throughout the crowd and even I felt that emotional wave sweep through me.

Umechan seemed to enjoy this

The energy in the building was through the roof following that song as well as the last song of the encore, To Be Continued from Saka Agari; a powerful song talking about living the current day with no regrets and to be able to look back and think about what a great day it was. When the team finished and bowed out, the lingering emotion could still be felt and to my surprise, the lights remained off and we were rewarded with a double encore after a strong B2 chant. I honestly think it wasn’t planned, especially considering the songs chosen–NMB48 and a repeat of the opening song and NMB’s anthem, Seishun no Lap Time. It was really a sad ending as I could tell that everyone in the building wanted to see more performances but alas, the concert was over.

Concluding thoughts:

For specific members-

-Shibuya Nagisa
I’m a bit torn on her. On stage, she is an amazing performer. The way she dances is stunning and she can do every style from sexy and cool to heart-meltingly cute, and she possesses the charisma to draw your attention from any time she appears.
On the other hand, when it’s juxtaposed with her baka-character, it’s really a strange feeling as I can’t take both of them seriously. Nevertheless, I found her mesmerizing whenever she appeared.

-Yabushita Shuu
Shuu brought the energy to both concerts. On stage she just seems happy to be there and always seemed to be smiling and having fun, messing around with the other members, and overall just having a ball. She was great to watch and seemed to uplift everyone around her just by being there. Not something you’d expect from a kusogaki/little brat character and she really shone seeing her up close and live.

Shuu and Nagisa with one of the more interesting dynamics

The Nagisa that I’m more familiar with

-Naiki Kokoro (Kokochan)
She was definitely a lot prettier than I remember. And in idol world, where everybody’s vying for your attention and trying to appeal to the fans as much as possible, Kokochan just does her job admirably and looks great. She’s like that person at work who shows up, blitzes through her work and looks good doing it, then quietly and humbly leaves. She won me over during this concert.

Do my job and do it well

-Watanabe Miyuki (Milky)
I’m not sure but there was something about her that felt very strict and business-like. Compared to the others there was an air about her that felt different, like she wasn’t as close to the team or that she wasn’t as excited to be performing. She performed “Dear J” on the first day and “Kimi wa Boku da” on the second day, which should be amazing solo performances for her to take on, but I just wasn’t feeling her.

Even though she looked amazing

While I started off the concert not feeling too excited about going, eventually I came around and left with a big smile on my face and excited for the next 3 concerts in Osaka, especially if they are going to be an equally small venue. The Umechan moments were especially touching and those kind of unique events seem to only be possible within the idol community.

It was a spectacular concert and I was glad to have been a part of it.

Thanks, B2. It was a pleasure.

The struggles of a former hardcore fan…

Well, if she leaves, then…

For the last few months, I’ve hardly followed NMB at all.

That’s through no fault of NMB. To be honest, I think they’ve been changing and evolving fairly well, integrating new members, still giving them great opportunities through media. And it seems like it’s still been fun, though I decry the lack of new stages and how utterly bored everyone seems to be with them shuffling entire teams into new units and what not.

No, what’s changed was me. I don’t have the free time (or the burgeoning wads of money) from my old job, I am still getting used to this new job and learning all the time, and even just learning to live on my own, let alone on my own in a small island town in Japan has been a huge change.

I also used to say that I like idols because I like watching them grow before my very own eyes and supporting them along the way, but with this job as a teacher, I’m getting that same feeling and  a little bit more when I teach my kids.

But your friends are sad

If there’s one thing I’ve missed from being a fan, it’s definitely meeting new friends and hanging out with them, sharing in the struggles of NMB, relating stories about our favorite members, constructing contrived inside jokes. I really do miss it, the problem being that since I haven’t followed NMB as much as I did for the last few months, I felt so disconnected from them, as if I didn’t know how to get along with them without it.

I loved helping people understand NMB, helping them to find their interest, reporting news, hoping that people would benefit, creating this community in which people would help each other accomplish their dreams. Too much changed with the move to Tsushima…

god bless Uukai

I would try and get in touch with people on Twitter, but it felt completely off. It didn’t feel right that I was once the person who dispensed news and now had to become the person looking for news and trying to figure out what was going on. Whenever I brought up the fact that I hadn’t followed NMB48 in a long time, it’s because I really wanted other people to help me back into it and reconnect with friends but some people just thought I was being salty.

I’ve always thought the idea of announcing “graduation” of being a fan was a bit silly. If I wanted to quit, I’d just quit, it would just naturally die out. But here I was stuck in some sort of purgatory, missing my friends but not having the time or energy (or money) to invest in NMB as I once did.

with the sweetest senpai

Aika announcing her graduation at this juncture is having a profound effect on me considering my disconnection to NMB for the past few months. While I chided the idea of having an oshimen in the beginning of my fandom (“Why would you pick one girl? It’s not like they just pick one fan…”) I began to realize how it grants you an identity in the community, and it’s a fun thing to stick to, to share with others. It was never a competition, a “my oshi is better than yours”, it was more like, oh, you’re the Aika fan? You’re the Kei fan? You ship FuuMiru? Things like that were such a good glue in our positive community.

So even with all these things considered, the doubt over trying to reconnect with NMB, having that oshi, that identity was something that I’d expect to last for a while. Especially someone like Aika, who I feel still hasn’t peaked and had so much more potential.

Without having that identity, and having to a carve a new niche, it makes it even harder to reconnect to the community I liked…

Even the CHUUBASAIKA

Since I still haven’t been to a theater show, I’ll probably apply for the graduation show and maybe pull off some miracles to be able to attend the show if I actually do get selected…

I’m definitely feeling the impact of the graduation already, and that’s more so with how I can relate to being an NMB fan now. I’m not sure if I’m ready for it to end, but if so, where do I go from here?

“Come with me if you want to live.”

5th Anniversary: One of the best concerts I’ve ever attended

First of all, I’m surprised I even made it out to this concert. It’s a hassle and a half to leave the island to do anything, but I decided to bite the bullet, pay the money, and take vacation for this.

Tension rising

There were a couple reasons I wanted to go, but the most important reason was because it would be a chance to get turnt with Andy, Jo, and Lulu, the broest of NMBros.

I can’t say enough about Andy. For all the trolling he does on Twitter, he is by far the coolest person to have fun with at a concert. He got my back for certain mixes and chants when no one else did it, we got hype together, and it was great.

Lulu I haven’t seen in a year so it was nice to attend a concert with her. Jo is always fun because she’s quiet until she gets to a concert.

And us four, we sat together. The hype was real.

When I first saw the seats, I was a little worried. I had a terrible experience for the 3rd anniversary and these seats looked pretty far back. But once we got in and sat down, I got excited again. From our vantage point we had a clear view of the side stage. And even then we weren’t too far from the center stage. It seemed like no matter where you sat you would get a good view of something, at least.

This pic was on 2nd day but still I got plenty of Aika during the concert so I'm satisfied

Good friends and a good view, what more could you ask for?

A FANTASTIC set list. I was pleased with nearly all the songs. Some hype songs, some emotional songs. Some new stuff, the debut of certain talents, the sickest medley performance I’ve seen.

First, it started with a bunch of songs that had the word “go” in it because it means 5 in Japanese. Ok, that’s super corny. But the next few songs were generation songs, and they all carried a lot of significance to their histories. Some of the girls even reverted to their original hair style. So much nostalgia for 1st Gen Beginner.

OriB2 feels with Bingo

And my eyes get misty whenever they allow Jo to be called a 2nd gen

The most touching performance was Nagisa on the piano performing Kimi to deatte Boku ga kawatta. See, none of us had any idea she was going to play the piano. She started playing and it was okay at first, then she missed an entire string of notes.

The crowd started laughing. We thought it was one of those Nagisa quality moments.

Then she started crying.

We are terrible people

Immediately we realized our mistake, and we changed into an encouraging group. “You can do it, Nagisa!” “Go for it!”

And when she would forget her lines, the crowd began to sing along with her. It was one of the most touching moments as a fan, and it gave me chills to be a part of it. It was so emotional. It made me believe in the goodness of NMB fans.

I’m not sure if this will ever be put on DVD, but with that and the rest of the set list, there was this real feeling that this was an experience best felt live. And this was the first time I ever felt that being at an NMB concert, that I was glad to be there instead of waiting on a DVD.

It didn’t stop there. The other tremendously impressive part was the Kouhaku (Akagumi/Shirogumi) medley put together by Konomin. Easily the coolest part of the concert. A couple of groups were mixed up and performed AkaShirogumi songs nonstop. And the songs were mixed together, not just played back to back, and certain songs had dance transitions. Again, it felt so unique and awesome and part of the live experience.

I bet even Konomin was confused at how good she was

Overall, this concert has to have been the peak of my NMB experience. I was definitely glad to be part of it, and I look forward to going to more concerts. Maybe in February, March, or April…

As long as I can take a Kinoshita-mobile there

And an obligatory Uuka is beautiful, featuring Ririka in bloomers and Momoka

So I WAS thinking about quitting NMB…

These ladies didn’t quit.

Since moving to Japan, I haven’t really felt the same driving interest to watch or follow NMB. I alluded to it in my personal blog. I just didn’t know why I didn’t care as much as I used to do, and I kept looking for reasons for why that is. Was it because I could get my cultural fill of Japan by just going outside? Did I actually want to get on with my life, or something?

Well, yesterday I attended NMB Request Hour Set List Best 100 2015. (Wow, what a title.) For the day concert, I had decent seats where I could clearly make out which girls were performing, and it was kinda weird because during one of the MC sessions they used the substage which we were really close to, and everyone sat down except for Andy and me, because we were just so close. And it was kind of a cool feeling because you actually felt like you could say stuff and they’d notice.

The other thing is that attending the concert with Andy made for much better hype than normal .Everyone around us seemed like they were bored and robotic and did not get into it at all, and then there was us getting hype and jumping when we weren’t supposed to and screaming cheers for the girls and everything. I really like that atmosphere, and that’s something I learned from attending concerts with my friends RJ and Boy back in LA.

If I actually attended today I probably would’ve went ballistic when they announced Souzou no Shijin #1

The night show wasn’t as great. The seats were way in the back, and I had to purchase a ticket online from some dude who just left me because he probably had better seats. The difference was like day and night, being able to get hyped with friends up front is completely different from just sitting in the back by yourself. It was still cool to be a part of the audience but I’d just have to wait till the concert finished to actually share thoughts with someone else about what just happened.

But honestly, I can’t get enough of how helpful everyone is in our little English-speaking niche NMB community. It feels like everyone has different goals but we’re all helping each other out to meet those goals. Andy and Jo helped hooked me up with tickets and I paid them back in Kobe beef. I just keep looking at all the friends I’ve made and I just keep thinking about how everyone really tries to help everyone enjoy what they got while also pursuing what they want. This is what I really like in a community and with friends in general, and this is what makes it so hard to tear myself away and quit NMB.

It’s also why I really like and endorse the community whenever I have the chance. Even people who don’t have Japanese ability still find ways to contribute somehow, it’s so much more enjoyable being a fan here.

So yeah, just a minor post about how I’m back for now. And how we’re awesome. And if you ever want to do anything or don’t know what there is to do, we’ll help you out. Maybe this generosity will rub off on you and you can help give back to the community too.

Akarin’s description of Team N Members

Source: http://ameblo.jp/nmb48/entry-12052738521.html

In this blog she talks about how she likes Team N and wants to push them more and more and become a tighter team, etc. I liked her description of the members though.

-She is too perfect and too awesome. Sayanee, the captain that everyone respects.

-The textbook example of a beautiful girl with a nice body, that friendly vice-captain Kei-chan.

-Capable of holding solo talk sessions, and the best cowardly character. Born in Kyoto, the beautiful Ripopo.

-When it comes to variety and talking, she is indispensable. Everyone’s older sister, Katahaba Dekkaman: Rika-chan.

-The genius who can calm the mysterious atmosphere. No matter what the story, she can get involved. The owner of bombs, Yuppi.

-Even though she has a gentle and cute personality, she posseses a gap by being a very sharp dancer. Ranking in this year for the first time during election, Uuka.

-An angel with high expectations for the future, and too beautiful. Possessing a little bit of a sharp tongue and is an ani-wota, Yuuri-tan.

-She has a unique presence, and doesn’t lose to anyone. Feels like your friend, and has strong willpower, Jo.

-The center of Durian Shonen, the future philosopher who jumped into NMB48 and doesn’t give a half-baked effort, Riripon.

-A standout performer with a hidden nice body, a crybaby who hates to lose, Aika.

-An idiot with great fashion sense (lol). She’s nice but has a bit of bullied character. She will definitely shine in the future, Naru.

-No one puts in more effort than her. She’s small but her performance level is huge, and she has a good fashion sense, Yamarina.

-A talented dancer who hates to lose. She stutters a bit but it’s endearing. And she just gave it her all so much as a kenkyuusei, Yuumin.

-A bit of a mysterious girl. Memorized the most positions. Always helping out saving and saving Team N, Rurina.

-A hidden talented singer, and can play the piano. Has a bit of a gap with her devilish side but is hilarious, Nattsu.

-And newly added, the two 2nd-gen draftees. They’re just too much of a breath of fresh air, Yuzuha and Nanami.

Aika’s article in Asahi Shinbun

Original article: http://digital.asahi.com/articles/ASH6K3RZQH6KPTIL006.html

Question: My school is one that declares itself “Accomplished in military and literary arts.” The theme is “You must be able to study and exercise.” But I can’t do both perfectly. How can I do both? Furthermore, what does it even mean to be “Accomplished in military and literary arts? (From 2020, a 16 year-old)

Answer: For the last single, Durian Shonen, I was omitted.  Within a few months of entering NMB, I was promoted from Kenkyuusei to Team N, and I entered senbatsu early, and it was said that I was progressing well, but I became really distressed about this. Even now, I am concerned of what exactly I’m missing.

As an idol, I’ll consider what “Accomplished in military and literary arts” means. In terms of literary arts, it would be writing blogs and other social media, as well as your talking ability. For the military arts, it’s probably dancing, singing, and other performing abilities. If you can do bother, you would be quite strong. But for me, I’m not very good at writing out my feelings, and I don’t talk a lot during the MCs of live performances.

I wonder if being accomplish at both is really good. When I meet the fans at handshake events, I don’t feel like they want me to be a straightforwardly funny character. Instead, they’ve told me many times that they think it’s great for me to look them in the eye and ask about them.

In NMB48, there are good, charming kids who aren’t good at talking but are great at dancing. There are many different types. It’s not so much a matter of choosing which to pursue and which to slack off on, but it’s about finding your own strengths and battling with them. That’s what I think.

Anchu’s Dream of a Shuffle

https://plus.google.com/117555569787343101894/posts/eVwJ9ggqLDt

I had a crazy dream.

There was a shuffle and Team M got all scrambled. I was told to live in this shabby house all by myself. From the house’s window, I could see the teams post-shuffle.

Fujie-san was friends with the chief and she said “Post-shuffle, Team M is the best!”

I went to Team B2, and a lot of AKB members transferred there. We were told to ask them why they got stuck with the villain role.

“We hate this team and we asked Kaneko to return us to our old teams. We can see ourselves crying at the stages, in the dressing room, and during work and we’re not used to this.”

They said I act weird.
They said it was like they entered a prison, but because I was more or less an idol they gave me a pink prison and that I was used to it.

That day I exited the prison, and then the ground fell out and I died.

And that was the end.

What a grand story, can someone interpret that dream?

Nevertheless, the more surprising a shuffle is, the more I hate it. I think I will treasure this time with Team M more than before…