AKB to XX!: 07/27/2012 — Poteto

I always thought that “Potato” sounds funny when said in Japanese when it becomes “po-teh-to.” It sounds like you’re saying it fast too compared to normal English, I guess.
Why Potato? Hmm…

To all SKE SKE SKE SKE SKE SKE to all SKE SKE GOT DAMN

On the AKB side we have Miichan, Ranran, and Annin, whereas we have Akarin, Churi, and Da-su. I think that’s her nickname. I dunno.  (EDIT: Apparently it’s not. I’m sorry to Ogiso Shiori, lol.) Also interesting to note that all of SKE is older than AKB, but it don’t matter because Miichan has senpai status.

(I’ve been playing this game called Crusader Kings 2 and there’s like all this crap that I have to learn to play the game. And then when I think of status and inheritance and pressing claims I feel like applying it to everything. Hence, “senpai” became a status, lol.)

The story behind this is that someone kidnapped the NMB girls and they must now accede to the kidnapper’s demands… or else.

The happiest kidnapping ever. Even the kidnapper looks happy.

They are joined by this comedian who acts as the detective. The demand is that they have to bring back some sort of crop. I forget what happens, but they figure it out because the detectives head looks like a potato, and they planted one sometime in the first episode of this season.

Sayaka sighting.

Churi finds a frog on the way which scares the following members. And the comedian.

After reaching their crops, they have a competition between AKB and SKE. Who can harvest the most, loser gets a punishment game, etc…

“It’s been a long time since I’ve gave it my all.” — Miichan the slacker

We also get some footage of the kidnapping venue every once in a while.

These glasses look funny. But when you take them off…

ZOMG his eyes are still open. lololol

Ken Koba gets points for having an old-school X-Men shirt on.

For the harvesting competition, AKB loses because Annin and Ranran try to cheat. It feels like it was scripted because they were too lazy to count or something. Their punishment game is that they have to perform a gag joke with the potatoes. They made Cirque du Potato or something. It wasn’t really interesting.

Remember how the guy’s head looked like a potato? Miichan tried to put his head in. She was unusually hyperactive in this episode…

She even assaulted him when he called them out for cheating. UNUSUALLY hyperactive…

With the potatoes they have to make something and through a bunch of hints they realize it was potato salad, which is Ken Koba’s favorite food or something. In Japanese it becomes abbreviated to “potesara” which sounds so… terrible. Probably because you can’t turn that into English. It just don’t make sense like the grammar in this sentence.

AKB and SKE visit separate shops to learn how to make potato salad.

Intermission has poster Haruna.

For some reason they keep calling her “shishou” which is like… master or sensei or something like that. I don’t get it.

I always thought she looked way older than her actual age, but then I saw her pictures without makeup and she looks like a kid. She puts up posters for that event they’re planning at the NMB theater and the AKB cafe. She actually had to introduce herself to the AKB cafe manager.

I keep thinking how it would be embarrassing to go to the AKB cafe but man, some of those waitresses are really cute. *sigh*

Haruna also shows us a Yamamoto Sayaka funny face.

I feel like she has this super serious mature air when she’s on camera, but off camera she seems like she’d be super silly and fun.

The potato salad making is boring so we’ll skip that. We do get to see an odd scene.

“Hey Ken Koba, we want you to be whipped by a 12 year old and an 18 year old while drinking mayo out of the bottle.”

After they complete it, they set off to the meeting place.

Potesara was bad, but Potaato (a combination of Poteto and Aato / Potato and Art) is just… man, I don’t even know.

It culminates in a game of the Japanese equivalent of “Red Light Green Light.” I had no idea that Ken Koba could make this game so funny… and the girls walk funny too. I don’t remember this game being this funny when I was a kid.

His imitation of Churi’s pose is the best.

If AKB won, ShimaRena was safe, and if SKE won, Keila was safe. AKB’s Ranran won, so naturally what we have to do is hook everyone up to an electroshock machine.

Watching 12-year-old girls get shocked is really disturbing.

We finish off with a 3-man Manatsu no Sounds Good. Except for Annin’s lack of energy (maybe Miichan stole it all?) it was actually a pretty decent performance. I’ve seen it live when I went to go watch the election and even though Jurina’s charisma as center was pretty strong, it was hard to concentrate on, well, anyone because there were like 30 people on stage. Even the dance mix on the CD is a cluster…full of people. With 3 it’s actually pretty clear how they’re dancing, plus you have strong dancers in Miichan and Ranran. I’d like to see a 3-girl version with Acchan/Takamina/Kojiharu since their voices seem to be the prominent on the single. But fat chance of that happening.

Nana would be proud of Miichan’s hip angle.

AKB to XX!: 05/18/2012 — Yay, the return of Haru

In some news, I got selected to waitlist on the G+ AKB48 Grand Prix contest to be an election reporter. It’s cool that I got that far, but fairly disappointing because I don’t think anyone will drop out. I will know by tomorrow if they did.

 

This episode continues from the last, as AKB and SKE compete to find special items/treasures of the small village that they’re going to put on an event for, as well as a mascot.

I used to be a huge Minegishi fan but lately it’s kinda staved off. I dunno why. Just thought I’d mention it.

I like the “Win: 0” marker at the bottom. Just like with most fans.

Annin comes on and Kawaei and Yukari are out for the AKB team. For the SKE team Kinchan comes in for Katou Rumi.

Annin has some appeal to me because she looks foreign but she’s not. Kinda like me, no matter where I go in Asia people assume I’m their race. People speak to me in Korean, Mandarin/Cantonese, Japanese, Tagalog, Vietnamese…

AKB team struggles in the beginning.

Staff pointed out that this guy is a national mascot already, not a local one.

They raided some house and got to eat homemade/locally grown boil cabbage and rice, looked delicious for vegetables.

I’m just noticing Kinchan. It started with the AKB Shukan quiz episode where she got dead last. Her awkwardness and slowness is becoming endearing. Well, maybe not endearing, but it’s damn sure entertaining. Her looks remind me a bit of Sasshi too.

“It had a very strong leafy taste.” What?

Later they will become Greenpeace. So this is where extremist environmentalist groups are formed…

SKE follows some guy back home and they decide to make Nagashi Somen. This requires cutting a bamboo tree in half, running cold water down the halfpipe, and then dropping noodles in the stream of water, where people use chopsticks to pluck them from the water and then dip them in sauce.

I want to try it, mainly because it seems like such a hassle and not that filling or delicious, but if people keep asking for it then there’s gotta be some good quality to it, right?

There’s something about manual labor to eat food that is really appealing to me.

AKB finds some old house that looks like its been around for ages, and they pop in to find an old lady who does some art. I think she said something about Japanese paper. I wasn’t really paying attention.

Pretty cool stuff. It’s also been sitting in storage forever.

They also find a chainsaw store. (!!!)

The old man that works there, however, just keeps talking. Non-stop. Oh my gosh. He also claims to have a sword from Tokugawa Ieyasu worth at least a million bucks, as well as a moon rock worth a million bucks. Huh, I wonder about that.

To impress young girls, show them your sword. Yep.

SKE finds a guy who used to race Beetles. He takes Suda Akari for like a 20 foot drive.

He also shows them his SWAG.

AKB finds a cafe that has homemade mulberry juice and pomegranate juice. I remember when POM, a brand of pomegranate juice, started making its rounds at my university. It was okay. Annin was right, it’s got a kind of sour aftertaste.

Dat Ranran face!

During the presentation to the city council, for the famous product, AKB chose the juice. They added a twist.

THEY MIXED POMEGRANATE JUICE AND MULBERRY JUICE. REVOLUTIONARY.

I remember when I did something like that. At Chuck E. Cheese with the soda fountain. When I was 7. It was approved.

SKE went for Nagashi Mochi or something. It didn’t really work out since it was really awkward to eat and pluck from the stream.

AKB selected the Japanese paper thing for their mascot, where as SKE chose the racer. Both were approved. Since SKE was one down, they had to do a punishment game. My favorite was, of course, Kinchan, who did an elevator impersonation that was an absolute fail.

However, for me, a primarily NMB fan, we get to see the return of Haru! It turns out she was the least popular member from last season, but they put her on to put up posters promoting the event. There was a little pun… “Haru” can also mean “to put up” so they changed her name to reflect that.

Her age is still really deceiving…

Sometimes I wonder what the producers were thinking. “Hey. Let’s get a 13-year-old girl to put up posters. And let’s follow her with a camera.”

Haru had some time so she put up a poster nearby, but the bus came early so it left her behind. That’s probably a first for Japan.

She also talks to this kid who apparently reps Laguna Beach. I guess he’s really rich.

Good for her to get some time though, especially since they took her off from Docking and the Nagiichi promotion.

Apparently the next episode was filmed and will feature Jou, Keila, and ShimaRena. Wow. ShimaRena getting some time. I definitely miss my Yamamoto/Milky/Haru team though.

AKB to XX!: 04/20/2012 — We doin’ it real BIG

I was real bummed with last AKB to XX. The teams broke up. At first I was like, “Who are these scrubs?” but like usual, I began to grow to like them. It was this plus Naniwa that made me like NMB48. It was here that I started to know about Churi and Non. It was here that I thought Ooya’s skills developed.

Well, a new age begins… and with a new team too. I can’t say I’m as thrilled as I would compared to the others, but, I’m sure I had those same thoughts when the first senbatsu started out.

As usual I don’t know the SKE members. It’s cool that they brought Ranran along, but a kenkyuusei? Keila, the Biracial Butterfly, replaces Haruna. Guess they needed more loli. Haruna hit 13, must be past her expiration date.

And also as usual, the staff is up to their secret plans, and we are in a hurry to do whatever they’re supposed to do.

I remember when all the NMB members on G+ would take pics of Yamamoto sleeping and she'd get mad. Ah, good times.

Turns out we’re headed to an inaka, or, the deep country. And we have a special guest leader person thing!

Do-re-Miichan

You know what’s great? You can literally see Miichan’s accumulated experience shine. Everyone else looks pretty raw and shy, but Miichan looks like a pro even though she is in fact younger than some of the members. Pretty cool. I’m also happy to see Miichan back to AKB variety show work. Like, yeah, it’s cool that they get on bigger and better variety shows that have nothing to do with AKB, but I really miss AKB senbatsu being on AKB shows.

The plan is for a BIG event to happen in the fall. In an inaka. Pretty cool. If you hear something, that’s just your personal rant detector going off. But I’ll get to that soon enough, don’t worry. We start by visiting the city office, getting to know the officials and their specialties, etc. The first leg of the plan is to throw a mini-party thing to introduce themselves to the city and to that they go around and make flyers and distribute them while getting to know the city.

Keila's skill is counting to 10 in Portuguese, and skipping either 7 or 8. She ends up nailing all 10. I wish I got a lot of credit for counting to 10 in Japanese. Instead people go nuts on me with calculations and prices.

Miichan is one captain, and Milky is captain of the other team. Damn. Yamamoto must feel shafted, lol.

There are two zones to cover; the neighborhood and the mountain. Miichan is the official leader of the entire team. Guess which zone she decided to pick.

So Milky’s team climbs the mountain and they meet some store owner.

I haven't had Mitarashi Dango in forever. I soooo want some now.

Milky's secret skill: Looking at the camera

Sucks for her team though. You can tell there’s like hardly anyone on the mountain.

Miichan visits some old dude who takes them around. They visit a kids school.

Miichan is so good with kids. It'd be cool to give her a kids show.

But this kid looks angry for some lol-tastic reason.

Then back to more footage of Milky’s team climbing the mountain. Apparently, climbing the mountain is a hobby for everyone. It’s about 1,300-something meters high, and if you’re considered a pro if you climb it 5,000 times in your lifetime. Pretty cool stuff. I climbed Mt. Misen, which was 530m, in Miyajima during my trip two years ago. I have flat feet. I literally could not walk after I was done. I had to walk sideways because my feet were just burning. Also I’m born and raised in the US, so meters confuse me, lol.

So, 1,300 something meters, 5,000 times? We got some ballers up in here.

How’s Yamamoto doing?

I think this is funny for some reason.

They visit some dude who has a truck that sprays… pesticide? I think. They also visit the oldest house in the city and it looks soooooo awesome. Forget Shoujo Jidai, it’s all about that Edo Jidai.

How cool would it be to have a gate like this to your house?

Milky finds someone on the mountain. He’s smoooooth.

"I thought you guys were really beautiful." BIG pimpin... only 60 years too late.

In the end they collect everyone at the meeting site, serve them some pork soup. Obviously Minegishi’s team wins, etc. It was more of an introduction episode of what’s to come, so I’m curious to see how they’ll build on this.

Oh gosh, that bell of yours keeps ringing? That’s because it’s personal rant time!

Honestly, I love inaka. It’s so fresh there. I love the old style houses. I like the warmth of the community. I like how for the most part, inaka are rich with nature. It’s just really cool. When I read about inaka though, I get sad. All the young folks leave for the big city since there’s hardly any business advantage to be in inaka. Everyone makes fun of them for being backwater, country, etc. Everyone rants about inaka being boring. But I really love it out there.

It’s really sad seeing how most of the people here are old. There were very few young people being shown, presumably because it’s uncool to be there and they’re all moving inward. I really feel like this kind of old-style living needs to be protected. And it’s not even as country as the US, where you imagine like 2 houses in the middle of wheat fields where a farmer lives and farms every day. These inaka aren’t quite suburbs but they are just little more country than that. I think XX is gonna be great for me to watch because I love these small towns in Japan.

And they're just so pretty... compared to the artificial lighting of Tokyo.

AKBとXX! 20120217 — Westside Pride + Aamin

Today’s episode of AKB to XX was awesome for so many ways. The members themselves already make it awesome.

... now I look like a child molester.

Hosting was Shiichan. Honestly I wasn’t a big fan of her first since she was begging for fans, but now her variety self is showing and she’s great. Joined on the AKB side are Aamin and Yuttan. NMB’s got their normal lineup of Sayanee/Milky/Haru, and SKE’s got Kanon/Churi/Manatsu. Yuttan is so good on variety shows too, I have no idea why they don’t call her more often. Anyway, all the members except for Aamin are from the west of Japan. Heh.

Today’s theme is one of those girl talk episodes. It starts off with them cooking nabe, or hot pot for us non-Japanese. And it starts with them cutting a fish.

Sanmai Oroshi: This is freakin' hard.

Around November / December I wanted to learn how to cook fish, so I started waking up early and going to the fish market and cutting it up myself. It’s so hard to do it so nicely. I am awful at it. I mean, look at what mine looks like when I’m done.

BLOOD EVERYWHERE

But you know who’s boss at it? Yep, Masuda Yuka.

She's like "Yo man. Let me show you how it's done."

Not only does she cut the fish well, she also makes an avocado salad. What can you make Sayanee and Haru? That’s right. Nothing.

Sad, sad...

I want to try making nabe now...

Some recaps here and there of earlier AKB to XX! moments, such as Sayanee causing rain, Komori crying, and Sayanee destroying everyone at arm wrestling. Shiichan doesn’t believe it. Sayaka makes her believe it.

Real talk, son.

Other events for tonight’s events include random polls, like “Who do you think is the sexiest?” “Who is the most two-faced?” A couple of great moments, especially if you’re a Milky fan because she loves the camera. While Yuka was voted the sexiest with 8 votes (and for good reason), she voted for Sayaka because of the finger pointing move in Oh My God!, saying “What kind of dirty thoughts are you thinking when you look away from their eyes?”

Man, Yuka is so good. I wish she was on NMB.

She's got the choreography down already.

Sayanee also showed off her playful side that no one else knew existed. Like her Totoro impression.

My Neighbor Sayanee

HKT also shows up and man, they’re so raw. It’s kinda funny because NMB was like that just a year ago. I wonder how they’re gonna turn out. One of the girls is half Russian, I like her looks (but not her age). She said her mom was the Russian one. I bet her name is Zangief.

What their faces would look like after an Ultimate Atomic Buster.

I liked this episode because it shows the sister groups getting together and having fun. It’s always nice to see how the groups interact. While I’d also like to see more blood and rivalry and competitive fire, it’s also interesting to watch them get along because of the different experiences they have. The episode was definitely biased towards Sayanee, Milky, Yuka, and Shiichan as I feel the other girls didn’t get much camera time, not even Churi.

At the end they showed Myao’s new diet. Man, wtf are they doing. I like Myao but these stupid new age exercise methods just don’t work and I don’t know why they’re being pushed by this TV show. Just make her do some power cleans and some cardio, eat right, and she’ll be fine. I don’t want to call out Japan because the diet fads in the US are just as bad but… seriously. Pick an exercise program and diet that’s worked and just do it, seriously.

At the very end, we get some Sayanee omake, which I’ll leave you all with.

Is that really sexy?